You spend too many sleepless nights thinking in what could have been different. Those butterfly effect moments, you know? All of us had some of those. Sometimes you notice, sometimes you don’t. And in less than a second you change your life forever. You spend too many sleepless nights thinking, just thinking… How good could you have been living a different life? Did you do enough? Did you do everything you should? And what if? How many times did you think of something started by this sentence: And what if…?
You think if you could have been a better daughter, you think if you could have been a better sister, a better girlfriend, a better friend… You go to bed too late and wake up too early and part of the time you’re awake and should be sleeping, you think. You regret, you cry, you feel sorry, you feel anxious. You can’t change what is done and yet… You think!
So the weekend arrives and you are tired, you feel sleepy, your back and your head hurts. And you want to stay at home watching films. Filling your mind with fiction so you don’t have to think as much as usual. You just want to rest.
And then you struggle. Sometimes everything looks so clear to you, so clear that you just wish to write everything down so you’ll never forget. You’re lucky, yes, you know you’re lucky. You are so lucky that you need to celebrate instead of staying home thinking over and over in something you can’t anticipate, you can’t solve, you can’t go back… And so you call the people you love, you put a little golden dress and heels too high for your feet and you leave.
I’m not talking about those friends who call you to go out, who call you because they want to meet a friend of yours, who call you because they want something they know they can’t have. I’m talking about friends. Those five or six you have in your life… And surrounded by those friends you know the ghosts won’t be with you that night.
Yes, it’s ok. It’s ok to go out and drink a bit more than supposed on a Friday night. It’s ok to fool around until the day rises because you spend too much time being serious, so you deserve once in a while to act like a fool. You deserve to dance until you feel so tired, because you get yourself tired during week working. It’s ok to hug your friends and pretend you are alone: You, your friends and the music. Because this might be another butterfly effect moment and you don’t know… All you know is that tonight you decided not to think. Actually you did.
You thought: Tonight. Me and my people are kings and queens of this castle.
In the historic center of my city, Guimarães. Where I was Born. Where Portugal was born.
Details of my outfit for a long night....
Inside the palace where the party was: Paço dos Duques
With Bruno, my dear cousin.
Mango dress* Seaside shoes* Gucci Blazer* Tous clutch* Krikor Germany necklace