I found myself today watching I don't know how she does it and dangerously thinking “Oh my God, this movie is about me!” I thought this was another silly movie (maybe it is) but somehow it was a wakeup call to my messed up inner mind. Despite the fact of thinking that Sarah Jessica Parker can only play one role in her life: herself or Carrie Bradshaw (I hadn’t decide yet), the movie surprised me and most important of all, made me think.
This all started last Friday, when alone in my room, sick in bed, I ended up watching the photos of my year in England. All the sudden I was crying like a baby and I can’t tell you exactly why. When I find myself this way, feeling sorry for myself (shame on me, I know) I always end up reading my favorite post on this blog and thinking: if I could figure this out, why can’t I live more on the edge this way? Somehow, the movie talks about the same thing I tried to stand out on that post: we can’t always be good at everything and we need to learn to live with that. We need to stop making lists, we need to stop thinking in what we could have done better and instead of that we need to get our asses out of the sofa and go the real world figuring that out. And once there, we are going to realize that are some things that we just need to let it go, so we can do something good out of our lives.
Time flies and you don’t even notice. Last February, I entered at the Premiere Vision venue and I asked my colleagues “Doesn’t it look like we were here yesterday?” and they agreed with me. But no, 6 months happened in our lives since then. On those 6 months some of my friends got married, some got pregnant, some had kids, some moved to another country… I guess one of the reasons why I started crying while looking at my pictures of England it’s because I only run older. Of course I had some good moments in my career and in my personal life but nothing outstanding. I guess I was having my job done and letting my life happen. We should not stick to one victory or two once a month, we need to struggle to get to the end of the day and think to ourselves: "This was a good day, I’m proud".
Of course we all have bad days and we need those bad days so we can enphasise the good ones. Of course this is a lot easier to write than doing it at all, we always think that tomorrow is going to be better but guess what (reminding me that this a blog about fashion): Tomorrow is the new Today! And if you don’t do anything for yourself, than nothing is going ever to happen.
Maybe I’m writing all this crap now, after a weekend spent at home feeling sick, and next Sunday I’m going to be as “not-that-happy-but-ok” about my life as I was some days ago. But I also believe in the power of writing and noting down my moments of awareness so next time I feel sorry for myself, I can read not only that one post like this one, forcing myself to slap me in the face and moving on. Yes you can be a better daughter, yes you can be a better friend, a better worker, a better lover, a better sister, a better person. You just need, like in the moment this photo was taken on one crazy "singing jukebox songs so loud I can't hear myself Friday" in Bristol, not to think much about the past and make the future, the tense you want to live every single moment of your life. You (I) need to dare more. Starting now...